In the morning, O Lord, You will hear my voice; In the morning I will prepare (a prayer and a sacrifice) for you and watch and wait (for you to speak to my heart.) – Psalm 5:3 (AMP)
I’m starting over. Again. It is way too easy for my priorities to fade away, to keep getting pushed further away until they are but a resemblance of what I once knew. Lord, I need you to speak to my heart.
I have been a pseudo happy, lacking the joy that I know can only be found in you.
I have been living moment by moment, hoping that my morning coffee and my daily verse can get me through another day of the grind of life. But it can’t. It’s not enough.
Every single morning, I need you first.
Have I set time aside, prioritizing us? You and me.
Have I awoken with an aching desire to be with you; to speak with you and lay before you my cares and affections?
Have I offered a sacrifice of my precious time, a devoted moment where there are no distractions?
Have I watched and waited, for your voice? Have I eagerly paused for you to speak to my heart?
When is it your turn?
You cannot be replaced. Your words cannot be matched by the mumbling of the world.
“But I will sing of your strength; I will sing aloud of your steadfast love in the morning.”- Psalm 59:16
That is why, each morning, I need you. It’s refreshing, it’s a new aspect of you that I’m learning, because you are so exquisite.
Exquisite- of special beauty or charm, or rare and appealing excellence.
I need you to be my one and only. My first and my last.
“I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, their faces shall never be ashamed.”- Psalm 34:4-5
When I try to be beautiful on my own, I fail.
When I try to be radiant on my own, it doesn’t last.
I cannot be the wife, mom, business owner, and friend that I desire to be on my own.
I can surely try, but it leaves me exhausted.
What is the quality am I giving out if what is inside of me is lacking?
It’s His peace that transcends understanding, it’s the Joy found in him, it’s love deeply rooted.
If I have those things, if I have Jesus, alive and active in me (not living off of an old word and a stagnant relationship) then I will be radiant, because He will shine through me.
And that’s exactly what I need; Less of me and more of Him.
Make time this week to sit and pour out your heart before Him. Wait and see what He speaks to your heart. Write it down, dwell on it, and begin to live it out.
I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. Again I will build you, and you shall be built.
Jeremiah 31:3-4
If you are in a season of brokenness, pray this prayer. Let it be the raw beginning of your healing process. Let the Lord begin to build you again.
Dear Lord, thank you for being a God of restoration.
You are a Father who draws us to yourself, a perfect God who is slow to anger and abounding in love. (Psalm 103:8)
I live in a very broken world, full of real hurts and seasons of loneliness.
Lord, as I surrender my brokenness to you, would you meet me where I am and clothe me with your affections.
It is in your Perfect love that all fear is cast out. (1 John 4:18)
You declare, “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” (Jeremiah. 31:3)
This is not a love that must be earned. I do not have to be “good enough” for you to bestow your love and acceptance upon me. You love me because I am yours. You love me because I am apart of you, crafted in your image. You call me beloved child. You are a father to the fatherless, a savior to the sinner, a comforter to the brokenhearted, you are a lover to the unloved, and you are hope to the hopeless.
You are the source of all restoration, the only hope for humanity.
Daddy, I surrender to you humbly, yet boldly.Deliver me from my fears; heal my deep wounds, restore my joy, cover me in your peace, and be exactly what I need.
You are just that, the only one I need.
Here is my brokenness. I place it at your feet, oh Lord. It is messy, but honest.
Thank you for your perfect, healing, cleansing love; your everlasting love.
He gave you manna to eat in the wilderness, something your ancestors had never known, to humble and test you so that in the end it might go well with you. – Deuteronomy 8:16
Even though my journey hasn’t always been sunshine and sunflowers, the hand of God can not be denied if you knew all of the little stories that make up the big picture of my life.
If you really knew me, you would know that I have experienced bitter heartbreak and shattered dreams. You would also know that my journey never ends there.
The wilderness has taught me to sing through the tears and praise through the pain.
Ann Voskamp says it beautifully, “Lord God, Maker of all, when you give manna moments, may I give you thanks for the mystery. Because the manna that makes no sense- You will make it my sustenance. In all of the “What is it?” moments, turn me to give thanks for who you are.”
Manna literally translates into ” What is it?”
I think about manna often, the “What is it?” of life. The daily miracle that abounded in the midst of the wilderness. This daily miracle provided nourishment in the place of uncertainty and unfamiliarity. Yet in Dueteronomy 8:16, it says, (manna) was given to humble and test them. I’ve found that this humility brings me to my knees, crying out to God. This is the time when I’ve felt closest to Him, when I had nothing else, no one else, but God alone.
It’s in the testing that He’s looking at the heart.
Will you curse Him in the wilderness or will you lift your weary hands in thanksgiving each day because He is faithful?
I’m thankful that I’m not the author of my own story.
I’m thankful that the places where I’ve tried to throw ink on the page, but couldn’t see where it should go, He took my mess and turned it into something much better. When the story started to turn out a way I didn’t want it to go, He saw the lines I couldn’t yet read. He provided the manna to sustain my soul when I was hopelessly wandering in the emptiness of the great unknown. I’m thankful that through the deepest heart breaks and disappointments, He gently led me, held me and sustained me.
He knew the road wouldn’t be easy, but it would be necessary. That it would feel lonely, but that He was all that I needed.
When there was nothing left to cling to, I could see what truly mattered. It was the only thing left standing when all else crumbled around me.
It was You, it is You. it will always be You. The great sustainer, the only one who will never disappoint, who heals shattered lives and makes them stronger. You are the Great I Am, You are peace when fear is knocking. You are the voice saying “don’t give up” when all else is demanding it. You walk me through the wilderness of life, no matter how many times it seems I end up there. Every time it doesn’t exactly get easier, but I do know that the manna will come everyday. I’ve learned that you know the ending, so I take the hand you offer me. I take it and trust that even when the valley is dark, the light always shines in the morning. In the darkness, there’s no need to fear, for You are with me and You go before me. (Deuteronomy 31:8, Psalm 139:5)
Please hear me, girl:
The world has enough women who know how to do their hair.
It needs women who know how to do hard and holy things.
As one of my friends reminded me , we met in a parking lot at Southeastern University.
And I’m so glad we did.
Though, when I was a little girl I never dreamed of meeting my husband in such a romantic place.
It just goes to show , you never know where you’ll meet “the one”.
And I would love to hear stories of other crazy places couples met their spouse, so please do share!
I absolutely love being married, but it hasn’t been flawless.
Life is not always easy, but it’s much better with your best friend by your side.
God has blessed me with one who constantly encourages me and adores me for who I am.
I’m so thankful.
And I finally realized something I hadn’t totally understood before…
Marriage is more than the feeling of love.
Love is beautiful, especially if you see everything with a deeper meaning like me.
However, marriage is a little more like being battle buddies, who stand side by side.
They walk through life together during the joyful times and the treacherous times.
Husbands and wives also remember together.
They remember all of the little things and laugh or cry.
Your spouse helps you remember why you feel the way you do, or why you are acting the way you are-
because they know you, they understand you, even when you don’t understand yourself.
You take on life together. Whatever comes your way.
It’s so much better than having to remember on your own, laugh by yourself, or fight battles solo.
I love Brady more than I did on the day that I married him because we’ve grown together and we’ve seen each others greatest strengths and worst weaknesses.
Yet, we still choose to love one another and encourage each other daily.
Love is a commitment. Marriage is forever. And it’s so worth it.
“We are friends for life. When we’re together the years fall away. Isn’t that what matters? To have someone who can remember with you? To have someone who remembers how far you’ve come?”- Judy Blume
Deliver me from my fears; heal my deep wounds, restore my joy, cover me in your peace, and be exactly what I need.
