It was nearly midnight and we were cozied up on a teal couch in the beautiful city of Gainesville, Georgia. My husband, Brady and I were in a season of the in-between. We had been preparing to venture on an 11 month mission trip to 11 different countries for what seemed like ages, but it had been about a year and half. Raising money, gathering all of our travel gear and watching endless episodes of Man vs. Wild. It was exciting.
What wasn’t exciting was the deep feeling in my gut of hopelessness and a lost path.
You see, it had been a month, 30 dragged out days of wonder and waiting. Where would we go next?
It was in this time that Brady and I were learning that God’s plan for us is sometimes very different than our own plan for our lives. Needless to say, we were crushed. Through quite the turn of events, after completely changing our lifestyles and extensive amounts of time devoted to The World Race, we failed. We made it to 2 of the 11 countries anticipated (though we had traveled through 8 countries total) in that six week period of time.
What we saw as the end, the Lord had planned as just the beginning.
As our dreams were crushed, our faith was being awakened.
For those 30 days, we were stranded. We were not where we were supposed to be, and we certainly weren’t doing what we had planned. We were in Georgia and our squad of 53 other teammates were on their way to Romania. I wouldn’t exactly say we were thrilled, rather filled like smoke from a wildfire with jealousy, confusion and painful disappointment. I continuously asked myself, “why would the Lord bring us to do such an amazing thing and then strip it away from us? But at that time, only He knew.
God is the author of our story: It was well-written before the beginning of time, long before our first breath. He knew the path set before us when we were trying to run our own way. He simply picked us up, and re-routed us. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with The World Race, it was incredible for us, but instead of being the final destination, is was but a starting point. The white line on track where the guy with the gun says “Runners, on your mark.” Then, the trigger was pulled. and my oh my, was the bang from the gun reverberating in my ears.
At that moment in time, He didn’t want us on the mountain tops of Bulgaria or in the sheep pastures of Albania, He wanted us reclined on the teal couch. Our ears and eyes wide open, our hearts longing for wisdom, for answers, for Him.
He was calling us back to himself, calling us to follow him on the road less traveled. The one that made us afraid.
What was more unnerving than traveling around the world with just a bag on my back and knowing that I’ll be gone from all that I’ve known for 11 whole months? Disappointment. The place where we believed that we failed and all that we’ve hoped and dreamed is over.
Disappointment tries to convince us to give up, but this is where we get to push forward despite our fears. This is where our faith is strengthened as we walk into the uncertainties of life with the One who knows all things. The One who’s always known.
What is holding you back?
Push past disappointment, shake off the dust and let your faith be undeniably awakened.
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” –Isaiah 43:18-19
Brady and I have been on a long spiritual and physical journey this past year: from selling everything we owned and venturing onto The World Race, to then following the direction to move to Guatemala for 6 months, to then starting over broke and brand new in our homeland of America.
It is difficult to trust when you do not know what lies ahead, but with every ‘go’, we heard whispered, or maybe even screamed at some points when we were clueless, we went ahead and trusted that God knew what was best for our lives and our marriage.
Before we left, We were living in a luxury apartment with steady jobs, cars we loved, and enough money to feel comfortable and self-sufficient. We didn’t need anyone’s help; in fact, Brady and I really didn’t even need each other’s help. We worked opposite schedules and hardly even saw each other, which eventually started taking a wear on our marriage.
After a year or so of living that way, we began to feel a slight sense that maybe there was more for us than this normal and mundane way of life.We knew we needed a change, but felt so stuck in our routine that not just anything would work. And then, one day after church (which we hardly went to at that point), I had this random thought about something I had heard of once, and I ran straight to Google that Sunday afternoon while my husband was in the bathroom. And surely enough, when he came out, I said, “Hey babe, look what I signed us up for.” And he came over and peeked at our MacBook with a surprised face and read, “The World Race, an 11- Month Missions Trip to 11 Countries… Okay, Cool.” And that was that.
All in a wild, split second decision, our lives changed.
We had absolutely no idea what the next year would hold for us: how we would come back not even resembling the people we were when we left, or how our relationship would be tested and tried, but come out stronger than most marriages might ever be, the things we would learn, the people we would meet, and how we could never go back to the way things were, simply comfortable and self-sufficient.
When you say “yes” to God’s calling and His direction, you say yes to way more than you could ever bargain for.
But, in order to move forward, to really soar, you have to let go of the comforts you’ve been clinging onto for so long. You have to stop leaning on self- reliance, and trust that God’s ways are higher than your ways.
What dreams have you allowed to just remain dreams in your heart?
What has the Lord called you to, yet you still haven’t responded with an all-out ‘yes’?
Be brave and trust (have confident expectation and hope) that God will come though and lead you into your purpose and destiny, even if that means leaving the safety of the shore and pushing through the waves .
“Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths. “
– Proverbs 3:5-6 (AMP)
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts.”
– Isaiah 55:8-9 (NASB)
“You make me brave You call me out beyond the shore into the waves”
– Bethel Music (You make me brave)
“We are not slaves; we are free. And we have been freed for a purpose: to share what you’ve been given.” – Christine Caine
She rests her heavy head on the pillow hidden in the secret of her florescent orange tent. The smell of withering sheep droppings fills the air of the pasture she now calls home. Albania is this sweet, mountainous country full of shy smiles and shoes that don’t fit the children with whom she plays. Yet, joy radiates from her being like a shooting star in a velvet black sky: undeniable.
When I first arrived in Lezhe, Albania, I did not know what to expect of my first month on the world race. My squad has now been here for a little over a week working at camp ‘Light force’. Underprivileged village children between the ages of six and fourteen stay here for a week at a time. My team works with a group of kids that we are with everyday from 8:00 am until 9:00 pm. These children are identified by their schools and picked for this camp, making it free to them. Being at this camp gives these children an opportunity to play and just be kids. Also, to feel loved in a way that many of them never have been shown before because of the lack of affection and trust in the culture. The young children have many heavy responsibilities at home such as tending to their family farms. Some have even had to leave camp early to care for their livestock that produce the family income as well as their food. I absolutely love these children, they are filled with so much joy and are tremendously thankful for the toys they get to play with which are in less than perfect conditions.
In my life, I believe that the world race is the beginning of a new season. By not just stepping, but lunging out of my comfort zone, the chains of my old life have fallen off. Every time I take a leap further into the unknown and the uncomfortable, I feel the weights that I have tied on, plummet to the ground. The familiar is home to the mundane, but if you want to fly, throw yourself where you do not want to be: The uncomfortable. Test the limits of your heart and find yourself surprised at the feeling of unexpected satisfaction.
Though we brought our tents, I did not expect to ever use them, and yet every night I sleep in one with my husband along with eleven dirty sheep in their small pasture. It is impossible to take one step without placing your feet on their droppings. I have hand-washed all of our clothes and leave them out to dry in the scorching hot sun. Since the camp is sustained by the farm that it is on, the pigs, sheep and cows produce a constant aroma. The shower that we use is always cold and is literally over a squatty potty. This means we are spreading our legs over a filthy hole in the floor to try and get clean. To us Americans, this is the epitome of foreign. However, this is all that these children have ever known.
In just this week alone on the camp I have seen a majority of the children with cheap flip-flops that are far too small for their growing feet and a boy with a hot pink suitcase with the word ‘lipstick’ written all over it because it was the only bag his family had for him to use. I walked down the rubbage filled dirt road and saw two small boys desperately digging through trashcans collecting plastic bottles trying to make a small income for their families.
Too often in America and other first world countries, we complain because we run out of something that most people may not ever have in their lifetime. I believe that it is a privilege to be here doing as the Albanians do. I would never exchange the eye-opening experiences of serving as a missionary for a day of luxury in America. My heart is to love, and love well those who have less than I do. They will forever teach me so much more than I could ever teach them. I know that this is only the beginning of my year on The World Race, but my life will not stop there. My hands will not stop serving, my heart will not stop caring, and my love will never stop giving.
This may be a ‘missions trip’, but it is so much more;
