by Kimmie Liette | Mar 30, 2019 | Motherhood |
Happy ONE MONTH to our Dream Come True, Liberty Ann.
Liberty means freedom and her nickname, Libbie means Promised of God !
This is significant to me because Brady and I didn’t know that when we chose her name!
Before I knew I was pregnant, I was reading the story of Elizabeth and Mary and the verse came up, “ Blessed is she who believes the Lord will fulfill his promise to her.” (Luke 1:45)
That verse made my spirit jump and I started dreaming of having a little girl for the first time in years. (Hello, Pinterest board)
If you don’t know this part of my story, about 6 years ago I was pregnant for the first time. Brady & I purchased nursery furniture from a neighbor and it came with the most beautiful girl bedding and decorations. We set it all up in baby’s nursery.
From there, I started dreaming of having a baby girl. I found out that I had miscarried her at 12 weeks when we went into hear the heartbeat and it couldn’t be found.
That was one of the most heart wrenching moments and seasons of my life.
The pain of losing a child, no matter how or how early on, is an extremely painful loss.
Fast forward, I got pregnant again and that sweet baby was miscarried also. I was overwhelmed with loneliness and depression after that, not knowing if I’d ever be able to have a baby.
When I very least expected it (We has just begun looking into infertility testing, got a dog and started fostering three sisters), I found out that I pregnant with Parker, our rainbow baby boy.
I’m so thankful for him, our ‘light‘. Having a son is such a gift. He takes after Brady in his looks, but after me in his personality. (That will be fun in the future.)
And Liberty is the sweet baby girl I had imagined holding in my arms that I hadn’t yet been able to do.
Her ‘coming home’ outfit was something I received at my first baby shower all those years ago.
Putting it on her was the fulfillment of a dream I’ve been waiting for. It wasn’t anything special except that it was special because I held onto it.
Dear friend, I don’t know what or who you’ve lost. I don’t know the dreams in your heart that you aren’t sure will ever come true. But I encourage you to hold onto that dream! You never know when it might come to pass. Believe in that miracle because absolutely nothing is impossible for God.
I haven’t walked in your shoes and I don’t know your pain, but I do know that our stories often look much differently than we plan and expect. Our miracles sometimes come in different packages and timeframes.
We may never know the answers to our deepest questions, but I know that He’s near to the broken-hearted and that there are dreams that do come true.
by Kimmie Liette | May 14, 2017 | Writings |
It doesn’t matter how you became a mom, it only matters that you are one.
I know from experience that being a momma can hurt, like deeply hurt. I also know that it can heal.
Being a mom is the most beautiful gift.
A gift that requires a substantial amount of time, sacrifice, love and most of all, courage.
If you have had a miscarriage: you are a mom! Don’t let anyone else invalidate that.
You carried a precious life (It doesn’t matter for how long) and that baby will always be perfect. You may have heard a number of crazy things, but each child matters. Another child will not take the place of the one you lost. But there is hope of mothering even if you cannot physically bear a child. Or maybe you can. I want you to know that you are not a failure. I thought I was, but sometimes these things happen and there is no explanation. You could’ve done nothing to prevent it. You are simply a momma who has a perfect baby waiting for you in heaven.
If you’ve adopted, then you are an amazing and committed momma. You know that love can be just as thick as blood and that your child is one hundred percent your child. They didn’t have to be born of you to be the little love of your life. They may have special challenges, but you’ve learned (or are still learning) to adapt and love them the way that they need it. You have given up an incredible amount of time and patience to ensure security to your adopted child.
If you’ve fostered, then you are a mom. A mom who has chosen to open up your home and heart to a child or many who otherwise wouldn’t have one. You’ve loved them through their darkest days and you’ve given them a gift that will last a lifetime. Those babies, children, and teenagers will never forget you. No matter how long they were in your home, they will always be in your heart. Fostering is a gift. Many people will tell you how lucky a child is to have you, but what they don’t know is that you are the blessed one. Those children are extremely precious and touch the heart in a unique way.
If you’ve birthed a child, then you know the sacrifice you physically made to bring your child into the world. You endured the pregnancy and having to use the restroom six times throughout the night. You made it through the contractions that you can’t even put into words, and you pushed (literally) through the birth. Yet, we all know that is only the beginning of the sacrifice made to raise a child. Your whole world changes when you become a momma. It isn’t about you anymore. It becomes about wanting the best for your littles, because your littles will eventually become big and have littles of their own.
If you didn’t get it already:
It doesn’t matter how you become a mom, it only matters that you are one.
I want you to know that you matter.
I want you to know that you are doing better than you think you are.
We live in a very broken world and every time we choose to love and teach a child, the world becomes a little less broken.
I know that today some of you, (including me) are hurting because you’ve lost a child. But no matter what you face, you are not alone. If you want, I encourage you to leave a piece of your story in the comments to encourage another momma.
I am a momma of six by various means, but only one lives with me today.
One by birth.
Two were miscarried.
Three I fostered, but loved as my own.
My momma heart hurts. But it is also filled with a love and a joy I would’ve never known without these six.
They hold an incredibly special place in my heart. Equally.
I pray that you know that you are a momma who is beautiful and loved by a God who knows the desires of your heart.
You are not a failure.
You are not forgotten.
Keep the courage.
You are an overcomer.
by Kimmie Liette | Apr 6, 2017 | Writings |
Is the value of their soul worth the laying down of my pride?
Jesus wasn’t worried about what people thought about him or even what they accused him of.
He only cared about binding the wounds of the broken hearts and shattered souls.
He feasted with the hungry and gave of himself to the lonely. He spent precious time of his earthly life among sinners and outcasts because he knew that’s where he was needed most.
Aren’t we called to be like God and to live in the way that he lived? If he came to give his time, his life and his reputation to the sick and the sinner, then how should we give our lives?
He was not embarrassed to be seen with, and to recline with many tax collectors and sinners. Therefore, we should not be embarrassed of those who we are called to lay down our pride for.
For me, it is my children, they have embarrassed me more than I could dream up. They need love, they need affection, they need stability and they need parents who will take them as they are and fight for their needs. Is the value of their lives and their souls worth the laying down of my pride? Yes it is. A million times over, yes! They have caused me embarrassment (what kids don’t?), but more than that they have brought me joy and taught me what truly matters in life.
On many occasions, I have wished I could wear a shirt that says “they are foster children” so people wouldn’t judge me and blame me for their misbehavior. There have been too many times I’ve almost been kicked out of Hobby Lobby or been given dirty looks by people who can’t believe how “bad” of a parent I am.
It is incredibly ugly that my heart and pride would think that, but it’s the truth and I still must fight my pride each day.
I constantly have to remind myself to follow the example of Jesus.
He embraced those whom the world rejected. When questioned about those he placed around him, he didn’t make excuses, he spoke from a place of wisdom and authority.
“But when he heard it, he said, “ Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Matthew 9:12)
He heard what others were saying, yet Jesus knew the cost of his reputation was worth the saving of the needy. He loved him with a love that covered over insignificant things like what others thought about him.
Lord forgive me for every time I was more concerned about the thought others have had about my parenting than what I knew my children needed from me. I am sorry that I was embarrassed, when I should have been honored. I never need my pride anyway, so it is a double-blessing what you have done in my life. I pray that as you take what I never needed, and trade it for something meaningful that I would see what truly matters and live out of that place. May my actions and thoughts reflect yours, God. Thank you for the blessings of my children, for they have taught me many lessons and have showed me how to truly love as you do.
Where is your feasting table? Who are your people? Go and love them well.
by Kimmie Liette | Jul 2, 2016 | Writings |
He gave you manna to eat in the wilderness, something your ancestors had never known, to humble and test you so that in the end it might go well with you. – Deuteronomy 8:16
Even though my journey hasn’t always been sunshine and sunflowers, the hand of God can not be denied if you knew all of the little stories that make up the big picture of my life.
If you really knew me, you would know that I have experienced bitter heartbreak and shattered dreams. You would also know that my journey never ends there.
The wilderness has taught me to sing through the tears and praise through the pain.
Ann Voskamp says it beautifully, “Lord God, Maker of all, when you give manna moments, may I give you thanks for the mystery. Because the manna that makes no sense- You will make it my sustenance. In all of the “What is it?” moments, turn me to give thanks for who you are.”
Manna literally translates into ” What is it?”
I think about manna often, the “What is it?” of life. The daily miracle that abounded in the midst of the wilderness. This daily miracle provided nourishment in the place of uncertainty and unfamiliarity. Yet in Dueteronomy 8:16, it says, (manna) was given to humble and test them. I’ve found that this humility brings me to my knees, crying out to God. This is the time when I’ve felt closest to Him, when I had nothing else, no one else, but God alone.
It’s in the testing that He’s looking at the heart.
Will you curse Him in the wilderness or will you lift your weary hands in thanksgiving each day because He is faithful?
I’m thankful that I’m not the author of my own story.
I’m thankful that the places where I’ve tried to throw ink on the page, but couldn’t see where it should go, He took my mess and turned it into something much better. When the story started to turn out a way I didn’t want it to go, He saw the lines I couldn’t yet read. He provided the manna to sustain my soul when I was hopelessly wandering in the emptiness of the great unknown. I’m thankful that through the deepest heart breaks and disappointments, He gently led me, held me and sustained me.
He knew the road wouldn’t be easy, but it would be necessary. That it would feel lonely, but that He was all that I needed.
When there was nothing left to cling to, I could see what truly mattered. It was the only thing left standing when all else crumbled around me.
It was You, it is You. it will always be You. The great sustainer, the only one who will never disappoint, who heals shattered lives and makes them stronger. You are the Great I Am, You are peace when fear is knocking. You are the voice saying “don’t give up” when all else is demanding it. You walk me through the wilderness of life, no matter how many times it seems I end up there. Every time it doesn’t exactly get easier, but I do know that the manna will come everyday. I’ve learned that you know the ending, so I take the hand you offer me. I take it and trust that even when the valley is dark, the light always shines in the morning. In the darkness, there’s no need to fear, for You are with me and You go before me. (Deuteronomy 31:8, Psalm 139:5)
Please hear me, girl:
The world has enough women who know how to do their hair.
It needs women who know how to do hard and holy things.
– Ann Voskamp
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