I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. Again I will build you, and you shall be built.
Jeremiah 31:3-4
If you are in a season of brokenness, pray this prayer. Let it be the raw beginning of your healing process. Let the Lord begin to build you again.
Dear Lord, thank you for being a God of restoration.
You are a Father who draws us to yourself, a perfect God who is slow to anger and abounding in love. (Psalm 103:8)
I live in a very broken world, full of real hurts and seasons of loneliness.
Lord, as I surrender my brokenness to you, would you meet me where I am and clothe me with your affections.
It is in your Perfect love that all fear is cast out. (1 John 4:18)
You declare, “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” (Jeremiah. 31:3)
This is not a love that must be earned. I do not have to be “good enough” for you to bestow your love and acceptance upon me. You love me because I am yours. You love me because I am apart of you, crafted in your image. You call me beloved child. You are a father to the fatherless, a savior to the sinner, a comforter to the brokenhearted, you are a lover to the unloved, and you are hope to the hopeless.
You are the source of all restoration, the only hope for humanity.
Daddy, I surrender to you humbly, yet boldly.Deliver me from my fears; heal my deep wounds, restore my joy, cover me in your peace, and be exactly what I need.
You are just that, the only one I need.
Here is my brokenness. I place it at your feet, oh Lord. It is messy, but honest.
Thank you for your perfect, healing, cleansing love; your everlasting love.
It was nearly midnight and we were cozied up on a teal couch in the beautiful city of Gainesville, Georgia. My husband, Brady and I were in a season of the in-between. We had been preparing to venture on an 11 month mission trip to 11 different countries for what seemed like ages, but it had been about a year and half. Raising money, gathering all of our travel gear and watching endless episodes of Man vs. Wild. It was exciting.
What wasn’t exciting was the deep feeling in my gut of hopelessness and a lost path.
You see, it had been a month, 30 dragged out days of wonder and waiting. Where would we go next?
It was in this time that Brady and I were learning that God’s plan for us is sometimes very different than our own plan for our lives. Needless to say, we were crushed. Through quite the turn of events, after completely changing our lifestyles and extensive amounts of time devoted to The World Race, we failed. We made it to 2 of the 11 countries anticipated (though we had traveled through 8 countries total) in that six week period of time.
What we saw as the end, the Lord had planned as just the beginning.
As our dreams were crushed, our faith was being awakened.
For those 30 days, we were stranded. We were not where we were supposed to be, and we certainly weren’t doing what we had planned. We were in Georgia and our squad of 53 other teammates were on their way to Romania. I wouldn’t exactly say we were thrilled, rather filled like smoke from a wildfire with jealousy, confusion and painful disappointment. I continuously asked myself, “why would the Lord bring us to do such an amazing thing and then strip it away from us? But at that time, only He knew.
God is the author of our story: It was well-written before the beginning of time, long before our first breath. He knew the path set before us when we were trying to run our own way. He simply picked us up, and re-routed us. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with The World Race, it was incredible for us, but instead of being the final destination, is was but a starting point. The white line on track where the guy with the gun says “Runners, on your mark.” Then, the trigger was pulled. and my oh my, was the bang from the gun reverberating in my ears.
At that moment in time, He didn’t want us on the mountain tops of Bulgaria or in the sheep pastures of Albania, He wanted us reclined on the teal couch. Our ears and eyes wide open, our hearts longing for wisdom, for answers, for Him.
He was calling us back to himself, calling us to follow him on the road less traveled. The one that made us afraid.
What was more unnerving than traveling around the world with just a bag on my back and knowing that I’ll be gone from all that I’ve known for 11 whole months? Disappointment. The place where we believed that we failed and all that we’ve hoped and dreamed is over.
Disappointment tries to convince us to give up, but this is where we get to push forward despite our fears. This is where our faith is strengthened as we walk into the uncertainties of life with the One who knows all things. The One who’s always known.
What is holding you back?
Push past disappointment, shake off the dust and let your faith be undeniably awakened.
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” –Isaiah 43:18-19
Brady and I have been on a long spiritual and physical journey this past year: from selling everything we owned and venturing onto The World Race, to then following the direction to move to Guatemala for 6 months, to then starting over broke and brand new in our homeland of America.
It is difficult to trust when you do not know what lies ahead, but with every ‘go’, we heard whispered, or maybe even screamed at some points when we were clueless, we went ahead and trusted that God knew what was best for our lives and our marriage.
Before we left, We were living in a luxury apartment with steady jobs, cars we loved, and enough money to feel comfortable and self-sufficient. We didn’t need anyone’s help; in fact, Brady and I really didn’t even need each other’s help. We worked opposite schedules and hardly even saw each other, which eventually started taking a wear on our marriage.
After a year or so of living that way, we began to feel a slight sense that maybe there was more for us than this normal and mundane way of life.We knew we needed a change, but felt so stuck in our routine that not just anything would work. And then, one day after church (which we hardly went to at that point), I had this random thought about something I had heard of once, and I ran straight to Google that Sunday afternoon while my husband was in the bathroom. And surely enough, when he came out, I said, “Hey babe, look what I signed us up for.” And he came over and peeked at our MacBook with a surprised face and read, “The World Race, an 11- Month Missions Trip to 11 Countries… Okay, Cool.” And that was that.
All in a wild, split second decision, our lives changed.
We had absolutely no idea what the next year would hold for us: how we would come back not even resembling the people we were when we left, or how our relationship would be tested and tried, but come out stronger than most marriages might ever be, the things we would learn, the people we would meet, and how we could never go back to the way things were, simply comfortable and self-sufficient.
When you say “yes” to God’s calling and His direction, you say yes to way more than you could ever bargain for.
But, in order to move forward, to really soar, you have to let go of the comforts you’ve been clinging onto for so long. You have to stop leaning on self- reliance, and trust that God’s ways are higher than your ways.
What dreams have you allowed to just remain dreams in your heart?
What has the Lord called you to, yet you still haven’t responded with an all-out ‘yes’?
Be brave and trust (have confident expectation and hope) that God will come though and lead you into your purpose and destiny, even if that means leaving the safety of the shore and pushing through the waves .
“Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths. “
– Proverbs 3:5-6 (AMP)
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts.”
– Isaiah 55:8-9 (NASB)
“You make me brave You call me out beyond the shore into the waves”
– Bethel Music (You make me brave)
Who I Am
I am:
an adventurer
a truth-speaker
a lover of people
a wifey to Brady
a mama to Parker & Liberty
What I Do
I am passionate about writing and worshipping.
I thrive on the challenge of transforming wild dreams into unbelievable realities.
I drink coffee. Anytime. Anywhere. Any excuse.
What I Believe
I believe that you have worth.
I believe that you are beautiful.
I believe that you were made with a purpose.
I believe that no matter how messed up and broken you believe you are, that you are never too far gone.
I believe that you can be redeemed and made whole.
I believe that the impossible is possible. I believe that Jesus is enough.
Deliver me from my fears; heal my deep wounds, restore my joy, cover me in your peace, and be exactly what I need.
