Read more“Now is not the time to draw back in fear. It is a time when we must rise up and flourish in love.” – Lisa Bevere (Girls with Swords)
Pushing Past Disappointment
It was nearly midnight and we were cozied up on a teal couch in the beautiful city of Gainesville, Georgia. My husband, Brady and I were in a season of the in-between. We had been preparing to venture on an 11 month mission trip to 11 different countries for what seemed like ages, but it had been about a year and half. Raising money, gathering all of our travel gear and watching endless episodes of Man vs. Wild. It was exciting.
What wasn’t exciting was the deep feeling in my gut of hopelessness and a lost path.
You see, it had been a month, 30 dragged out days of wonder and waiting. Where would we go next?
It was in this time that Brady and I were learning that God’s plan for us is sometimes very different than our own plan for our lives. Needless to say, we were crushed. Through quite the turn of events, after completely changing our lifestyles and extensive amounts of time devoted to The World Race, we failed. We made it to 2 of the 11 countries anticipated (though we had traveled through 8 countries total) in that six week period of time.
What we saw as the end, the Lord had planned as just the beginning.
As our dreams were crushed, our faith was being awakened.
For those 30 days, we were stranded. We were not where we were supposed to be, and we certainly weren’t doing what we had planned. We were in Georgia and our squad of 53 other teammates were on their way to Romania. I wouldn’t exactly say we were thrilled, rather filled like smoke from a wildfire with jealousy, confusion and painful disappointment. I continuously asked myself, “why would the Lord bring us to do such an amazing thing and then strip it away from us? But at that time, only He knew.
God is the author of our story: It was well-written before the beginning of time, long before our first breath. He knew the path set before us when we were trying to run our own way. He simply picked us up, and re-routed us. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with The World Race, it was incredible for us, but instead of being the final destination, is was but a starting point. The white line on track where the guy with the gun says “Runners, on your mark.” Then, the trigger was pulled. and my oh my, was the bang from the gun reverberating in my ears.
At that moment in time, He didn’t want us on the mountain tops of Bulgaria or in the sheep pastures of Albania, He wanted us reclined on the teal couch. Our ears and eyes wide open, our hearts longing for wisdom, for answers, for Him.
He was calling us back to himself, calling us to follow him on the road less traveled. The one that made us afraid.
What was more unnerving than traveling around the world with just a bag on my back and knowing that I’ll be gone from all that I’ve known for 11 whole months? Disappointment. The place where we believed that we failed and all that we’ve hoped and dreamed is over.
Disappointment tries to convince us to give up, but this is where we get to push forward despite our fears. This is where our faith is strengthened as we walk into the uncertainties of life with the One who knows all things. The One who’s always known.
What is holding you back?
Push past disappointment, shake off the dust and let your faith be undeniably awakened.
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” –Isaiah 43:18-19
Read moreIt’s in the risks that there’s discovery. When you do something outside the bounds of what you’re used to doing, that’s where you’re most likely to learn something new about yourself. – Patsy Clairmont
Lago de Atitlan // Remembering the Beauty
It is rather incredible for me to think back and know that I used to live here, in this exotic and breath-taking beauty. The various shades of blue of Lake Atitlan in Guatemala. I laughed here, kayaked here, awoke to this view for what seems now to be not enough amount of time. But it was, oh it was. Some people will never venture to look upon what some world travelers and explorers call the most beautiful lake in the world.
Guatemala was a special place for me; It was a place to reflect, to discover myself. What I found was my deep love for people, all people and the richness of culture and the diversity of life. It is here that I truly started to live.
How To Change Your Life In A Split Second
Brady and I have been on a long spiritual and physical journey this past year: from selling everything we owned and venturing onto The World Race, to then following the direction to move to Guatemala for 6 months, to then starting over broke and brand new in our homeland of America.
It is difficult to trust when you do not know what lies ahead, but with every ‘go’, we heard whispered, or maybe even screamed at some points when we were clueless, we went ahead and trusted that God knew what was best for our lives and our marriage.
Before we left, We were living in a luxury apartment with steady jobs, cars we loved, and enough money to feel comfortable and self-sufficient. We didn’t need anyone’s help; in fact, Brady and I really didn’t even need each other’s help. We worked opposite schedules and hardly even saw each other, which eventually started taking a wear on our marriage.
After a year or so of living that way, we began to feel a slight sense that maybe there was more for us than this normal and mundane way of life.We knew we needed a change, but felt so stuck in our routine that not just anything would work. And then, one day after church (which we hardly went to at that point), I had this random thought about something I had heard of once, and I ran straight to Google that Sunday afternoon while my husband was in the bathroom. And surely enough, when he came out, I said, “Hey babe, look what I signed us up for.” And he came over and peeked at our MacBook with a surprised face and read, “The World Race, an 11- Month Missions Trip to 11 Countries… Okay, Cool.” And that was that.
All in a wild, split second decision, our lives changed.
We had absolutely no idea what the next year would hold for us: how we would come back not even resembling the people we were when we left, or how our relationship would be tested and tried, but come out stronger than most marriages might ever be, the things we would learn, the people we would meet, and how we could never go back to the way things were, simply comfortable and self-sufficient.
When you say “yes” to God’s calling and His direction, you say yes to way more than you could ever bargain for.
But, in order to move forward, to really soar, you have to let go of the comforts you’ve been clinging onto for so long. You have to stop leaning on self- reliance, and trust that God’s ways are higher than your ways.
What dreams have you allowed to just remain dreams in your heart?
What has the Lord called you to, yet you still haven’t responded with an all-out ‘yes’?
Be brave and trust (have confident expectation and hope) that God will come though and lead you into your purpose and destiny, even if that means leaving the safety of the shore and pushing through the waves .
“Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths. “
– Proverbs 3:5-6 (AMP)
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts.”
– Isaiah 55:8-9 (NASB)
“You make me brave
You call me out beyond the shore into the waves”
– Bethel Music (You make me brave)
Confessions of a First-Time Momma
Today marks the calendar of being 9 weeks pregnant.
You would think I would be a baby whiz and know all that there is to know about pregnancy and motherhood, but the simple truth is that I do not. Nor will I ever pretend to.
What is hardest to me is that all over the media, and in every day life you see women who at first glance, resemble wonder woman. I mean, they knew every detail about every week and trimester of pregnancy before they even turned 10. Okay, maybe not, but it seems like they have it all together, and there must obviously be something wrong with me, I think to myself.
I have wanted a baby since the day I was married, (I know, I know) but I finally became pregnant 2 and a half years later. In all of that time of dreaming of little baby Liette, I completely forgot to do any research.
Thus, here I am being surprised every day about what it means to be a mom and grow a little miracle inside of me.
And let me tell you, there are many things to learn and plenty of decisions to be made. I am currently researching all things about natural birth, though I do know that I can’t quite get myself to deliver at home. At least not with this baby.
I suppose the point of all of this is, three months into the most exciting season of my life, I still feel pretty clueless on all things pregnancy and motherhood.
Even though I haven’t met them yet, I know I love this baby way more than I ever would have dreamed. And I have this sneaking suspicion that there are other first-time moms out there who are thrilled about this natural process of life, but also feel that they don’t know as much as they ‘should’.
But what we really need to know is that it’s okay and it doesn’t make us any less of a mom than we should be.
Every woman had to start somewhere, and at some time.
So, let’s do this together. Let’s research, learn, discuss, and be real about what it feels like to develop into mommyhood as our babies are developing body parts.
It’s okay to not have all the answers, as long as we are trying.
New Product Sneak Peek
Brady and I just got back from our trip to Guatemala on Monday with a bunch of new beauties for you!
I’m still finishing up the shop website, but I couldn’t wait to show you at least a few of the goodies we brought back.
If you like these, which I can’t imagine anyone wouldn’t, then you are in for a treat!
I promise the shop will be opening very soon because I’m eager to show off our new line of products.
Thank you for shopping high quality & handmade 🙂
XOXO-
Kimmayann
Positive Influence
I’ve been thinking this morning about community and how important it is to surround ourselves with positively influencing people.
I pulled out these encouraging hand-written notes from all of my friends (who are more like family) in Guatemala.
These are the people who we lived with day-in and day-out for the past six months.
We shared a roof, meals, our workloads, our struggles, our victories, and so many memories together.
We encouraged one another every day.
We spoke truth into each other lives.
We saw each other through eyes of grace.
Because we all know, the real ‘us’ comes out when we spend every day with people for stretched amounts of time. There ain’t no hiding it.
I’m so thankful for for these friends.
Thankful for their love and for their desire to see me grow.
It’s beautiful to have relationships where you are investing into each others lives.
Are you surrounding yourself with people of positive influence?
What Happened in Guatemala, Doesn’t Stay in Guatemala
The past six months that I lived in Guatemala felt like a lifetime.
(In a good way)
I’ve been blessed to have met women like Veronica.
She has a beautiful heart and a radiant smile that always left me laughing.
She began as my Spanish teacher and quickly became a dear friend.
Since being back in the States,
(I’d like to say back home, but I’m still confused where home truly is)
I’ve come to the awakening of the gaping hole in my chest.
It’s difficult to leave your heart in another country with people who became apart of your story.
When your lives collide and you realize that you are more alike than you could’ve ever imagined.
That despite cultural differences, and sometimes (a lot of times) language barriers, we are human.
We all possess the deep longing to be seen and to be loved.
I came back to Florida and knew that the wild world outside had changed me.
My eyes couldn’t see things the same, though at times, they tried.
I longed for the warm embrace of a beautiful Mayan friend that I’ve met on the street.
The woman named Thomasa that I’ve adopted as my abuelita (little grandma).
She sells mangoes, papaya, and watermelon every day at the age of eighty-seven.
It’s these kinds of people who leave a lasting impact on the heart.
The ones who are content with the little they have, and encourage you to share in their joy.
They are the ones who changed my eyes, and I’ll forever be grateful to them.
El Mercado de Antigua